A: Sexuality is not black and white. If you feel it’s best to remain open to both genders that is totally okay. Don’t get so caught up with the whole gay/straight labels if you’re unsure. If it feels right…go for it. If not…end it and learn from every relationship you choose to explore. It can be frustrating to not be able to truly understand you’re feelings but always always always do what’s best for yourself. Date and kiss who ever you wish to and don’t let the haste in finding a label to identify with prevent you in finding someone you truly connect with. 

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Hey Jess, you should dress the way that you feel the most comfortable, because you will be attracting people that are into the real you. You will definitely be taken seriously, there are a huge amount of femme lesbians out there. There is a tendency for new lesbians to butch up their look because they feel exactly the same insecurity, but for a lot of people it’s just a phase and for exactly that reason they themselves may not be taken seriously. Also we live in a modern world where everyone is more fluid with their gender identity, some days you may feel you want to dress more feminine and other days more masculine. Your clothes don’t have to define you as a person, just relax and go with what you fancy at the time. At the end of the day don’t spend time worrying about how gay you come across, if you have a connection with someone they won’t be questioning it because of the way you dress xx

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Q. I have never slept with a woman before. I have started to date a girl I really like, I’m worried that if I tell her she will not want to carry on dating me. I am 25 so I know she definitely won’t be expecting it! What shall I do?

A. Definitely tell her! We have all been in that position before and she will understand as she’s been there too, even if at a different time of her life. When you like someone you’re up for working through anything. Also, sex is a natural part of being human, when you are actually in the moment you will find it doesn’t really make a difference that you haven’t done it before if you like each other. Everyone is different so when you sleep with someone for the first time no matter how experienced you are you will always need to discover what they as an individual respond to. If she reacts badly she wasn’t worth your time anyway and you have to question why she was even with you in the first place xx

If you have a question that you want HER to answer, just use #DearHER and we’ll find you or you can just message us on our blog!

Download the HER Social & Dating App HERE Made for LGBTQ women, by LGBTQ women.